ASOS Is Now Selling A ‘sausage’ Choker For Reasons We Cannot Understand

Alright, ASOS. Now you’re just taking the piss.

We accepted the dinosaur tail as a snazzy addition to our festival and work ensembles. We just about got our head around the band t-shirt with a giant ruffled sash.

This official wedding photograph released by the Royal Communications of Princess Eugenie and Mr Brooksbank at Royal Lodge, Windsor, ahead of the private evening dinner, following their Wedding. Princess Eugenie's evening dress was designed by Zac Posen. Mr Posen was inspired by the beauty of Windsor and the surrounding countryside. The choice of colour reflects the blush of an English rose. Mr Posen took his inspiration from the White Rose of York. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Issue date: Saturday October 13, 2018. See PA story ROYAL Wedding. Photo credit should read: Alex Bramall/PA Wire Embargoed to 2230 BST Saturday October 13 2018. NEWS EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NO COMMERCIAL USE. NO MERCHANDISING, ADVERTISING, SOUVENIRS, MEMORABILIA or COLOURABLY SIMILAR. NOT FOR USE AFTER 30th April 2019 WITHOUT PRIOR PERMISSION FROM BUCKINGHAM PALACE. NO CROPPING. Copyright in the photograph is vested in Princess Eugenie of York and Mr Jack Brooksbank and Alex Bramall. Publications are asked to credit the photograph to Alex Bramall. No charge should be made for the supply, release or publication of the photograph. The photograph must not be digitally enhanced, manipulated or modified in any manner or form and must include all of the individuals in the photograph when published. NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used in for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder.>Princess Eugenie's evening reception dress was possibly even more gorgeous

But this is the limit.

Right now, at this very moment, ASOS is selling a choker that spells out ‘sausage’.

Yes. Sausage. In sterling silver.

We were first alerted to the existence of said choker by a tweet which asked a very, very important question: is ASOS okay?

is asos okay pic.twitter.com/GROURzorhj

— áinemáire (@aineasaI) March 27, 2017

We don’t know if they are.

We don’t know anything anymore.

Why would someone want to wear the word ‘sausage’ around their neck? For a genuine celebration of sausage? As a strange sexual innuendo? To make people stare at their neck in confusion?

>>> asos sausage choker
(Picture: ASOS)

We’ve checked the entirety of ASOS to see if there are chokers spelling out ‘egg’ or ‘toast’ or even ‘bacon’. But there are not. Clearly, there is something very important about sausages.